Posts filed under 'Life the Universe and Everything'
Is it completely wacky to think that my dead grandpa used the frogs in the pond across from my place last night to show me that he is still around and with me?
I was thinking about him and about the whole life after death thing when in my head I asked him to manifest himself - quickly asking him straight after not to freak me out by showing up in the dark as a freaky blue ghost. As I finished my request, the frogs across in the pond started going nuts. In my head I said “if that’s you, make it louder”. That very second it got much louder for a couple of seconds then quietened down again. I said “if that’s REALLY you, do it again”. And again the noise level went up considerably for a couple of seconds, until I said “ok stop it, you’re freaking me out now” and everything stopped.
I have had a couple of experiences in the past (not with my grandpa) that were much more straightforward than this - I mean that made it hard to leave room for any doubt. Freaky every time, mind you. But this time I thought, would it be so implausible since my family has always called me Froggie? maybe that was just his way of getting the message across?
Anyhow, I’m kind of… well not kind of, I’m REALLY interested in hearing any stories of “supernatural” stuff that you may have experienced. Don’t be shy!
If you’re too self-conscious to write the stories in the comments, you can email them to me at tash dot fizzylight dot com
Hasta la vista!
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April 23rd, 2006
Yes, G is for Giraffe, Gallipoli and Goggomobil, but it’s also for… Garden Gnome!
Just for fun, next time you’re on the phone to someone and spelling out a word that contains a G, try saying “G for gnome”… It reminds me of a woman I once had on the phone and who spelled out “Z for xylophone”. Aah tricky, tricky phonetics!
What is it about the furry-footed gnome that has inspired not only gardeners the world over (apparently) but also political movements, blogs, fan sites… ? I bet you never knew garden gnomes made the news?
Check out this picture from news.scotsman.com depicting a gnome near drowning following flash flooding in Scotland.
And of course from CNN, the French, having just about run out of things to protest about, have formed the Garden Gnome Liberation Front. Try a search on Google and you will soon realise just how prolific this movement really is. To do your part to support the general cause you can even buy a “Stop Oppressive Gardening - Free the gnomes” t-shirt here!
Then there are garden gnome fan sites such as Gnometastic.
Oddly enough there is a fan in Afghanistan and there are no garden gnome fans listed in Australia, though I’m hoping to have a few converts after today’s post. As expected, the biggest garden gnome fan base is located in none other than… you guessed it… the United States of America. Aaah God bless those crazy yanks 
And let’s not forget the Movie Star Gnome… those heartwarming scenes in the film “Amelie” when a gnome breaks free of his patch of lawn to go and discover the world at large, sending postcards along the way.
We also have ‘vintage axe-wielding hillbilly woodsman’ gnomes!! Good to see that the gnome community also has their lot of bad eggs. Ok he IS pretty creepy *shivers*… or how about this one…
How much more convincing do you need… adopt a gnome today!
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February 11th, 2006
| Your Life Path Number is 8 |
Your purpose in life is to help others succeedYou are both a natural leader and a natural success. You are also a great judge of character.
You have a head for business and finance. You know how to make money.
A great visionary, you can see gold where other people see nothing.
In love, you are very generous - with gifts, time, and guidance.
You love to inspire people, but it can be frustrating when they don’t understand your vision.
Great success comes easily for you. But so does great failure, as you are very reckless.
You are confident, and sometimes this confidence borders on arrogance.
|
What Is Your Life Path Number?I think I was born on the wrong day???!
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January 31st, 2006
I spent a little more time on this post to try to make up for not posting much this week. Well, a lot more actually!
I got the idea from here and she gives credit to someone else also… For me it was a good chance to learn a bit of Photoshop. So here goes.
1. Who am I? 2. Who knows me better than anyone? 3. What age do I feel? 4. The most important thing in my life is… 5. I always wear… 6. Something I always do 7. I am happiest when… 8. On Monday mornings… 9. My favourite means of transportation… 10. My eyes are…
11. The object I’m glad to own is… 12. To relax, I like to… 13. The city I live in is… 14. My worst habit is… 15. My forbidden pleasure is… 16. The first thing I notice in someone… 17. I think… is gorgeous 18. Something I can do without… 19. Something most people don’t know about me… 20. My life is…
So there you have it! It was good fun so if you feel up to the task, go for it! Otherwise, you can maybe give me some of your own answers in comments or on your own blog
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January 22nd, 2006
Words have been calling out to me lately. I’m feeling them close but not close enough and I miss them. I miss the sound and taste of them. I miss pairing them up, folding them into each other to make sentences, to give voice to the heart and a home to my spirit.
People have been approaching me about my writing of late. Some because of the website I’m currently building, others … others, well I’m not sure why. Perhaps like me they feel a quickening; the wind is picking up to carry me on my way. And yet I feel as though there are things that I must do before I set off… things that I must see.
In the introduction to Postcards I muse about how I started to write. Now I find myself examining how or where I stopped, that I might see my way again through the veils around my heart. It’s not a tricky question, if I let myself go back there I know exactly when it happened. I even know why it happened, and that to me is perhaps the scariest of all. I was broken and I didn’t know how to fix myself. I didn’t know how to hold on tight to that belief that love conquers all and that it is enough to love without needing to hold it tightly in my fist. I still don’t know. I would like to believe there is a love that can stay, a love that could melt into me and be free. But I didn’t know how to love and that was my shame. I didn’t know how to BE in the face of love… and I guess neither did he.
So I know when I stopped writing. When I couldn’t bear to look into the reflection of my own eyes let alone my soul. When I had failed at the one thing I thought I would be best at. When I discovered I wasn’t as loyal as I thought and that loneliness makes us cowardly… it’s possible to be the loneliest of all with the person we love the most.
I broke apart and fell to pieces and really I had thought I’d got myself back together. I knew I was changed, but I didn’t know just how much. But I should have known, because I couldn’t write about it. That’s how I should have known. So I think this is the first tentative step.
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February 2nd, 2004
This is a blog I read regularly
At times I can’t stomach it. It’s too close to home, too close to what I dread deep inside. Today, it pierced me with its sincerity. Particularly the last paragraph which so reminded me of a couple of conversations I’ve had with my mother lately and reminds me of how I’m finding the strength and courage to go away, away from her.
On a lighter note, my sister Kat gave birth to a healthy baby boy this afternoon. He doesn’t have a name yet but I think it will be Curtis after Curtis Mayfield. I’m so glad she had a boy - she already has 3 beautiful girls.
Travel preparations are in full swing. The postie delivered my Canadian working visa today!!!! Huge load off my mind - it’s all real now, really happening!
xx
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January 12th, 2004
*Listening to Pearl Jam - Alive (Live and Unplugged)*
Well, the end of yet another year is near and as is our tradition we take time out to take stock and perhaps contemplate what we have sown. I’ll not speak on a personal level tonight… well, personal yes, but on the broader scale of the world we live in. It has been a year of much turmoil and I fear still what is to come. As I sit here, I want to share two things with you:
http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/index.php
and http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/12/28/1072546411783.html
But as I sit here I also think of the protests against the war and the protests against the inhumane treatment of asylum seekers, and I recall Trace asking me if I believe that protesting actually works. Absolutely it does and though there is a shadow cast over our world, ‘a fizzy light bursts to bright’ and I have hope for the future. And so tonight I pray that I, and the ones I love, have the courage to not join in ‘the turning away’…
“On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we won’t understand
“Don’t accept that what’s happening
Is just a case of others’ suffering
Or you’ll find that you’re joining in
The turning away”
It’s a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting it’s shroud
Over all we have known
Unaware how the ranks have grown
Driven on by a heart of stone
We could find that we’re all alone
In the dream of the proud
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite
In a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
And mesmerized as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It’s not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there’ll be
No more turning away? ”
-Pink Floyd - On The Turning Away-
Peace.
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December 29th, 2003
It’s been a few days, but finally here I am. It’s hard for me to write when I log on from home these days because it’s usually around 9.30 pm and by then I just can’t summon the energy. I’m trying to stay offline till later because well firstly there’s not much going on till a little later when Paul and Kayv are on, and secondly I’m trying to break a habit and also leave the phone line a little freer so that Trace starts paying more of the damn phone bill. Of course though, no one ’s been calling so go figure.
Let me see… I had a pretty quiet weekend but it was amazingly pain free until later on Sunday evening! so that was great. Smella and her boyfriend came over late Sunday afternoon for a little social visit and later in the evening DriveByPete came by with takeaway Thai which was yummy. This week’s still been hectic at work - I’m REALLY over it but trying to just apply myself and not burn any bridges. Today Gab (my boss) told me I had an attitude problem. She said it laughingly but she said it a few times so I’m pretty sure she meant it. Anyway, I turned to her and yelled “I DO NOT HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM!” and then asked if I could leave 10 minutes early to go to the beautician’s - because I have my priorities right.
Tomorrow is Friday and I’m very glad of that, though I can’t believe how fast time is going at the moment. I’m home alone as of today because Trace and the baby have gone to New Zealand for 10 whole blissful days. YAY!!! It’s the first time I’ll have been home alone for more than 1 night since living in this place. I’m feeling like a real rebel because I left my tv blanket on the couch. Just dropped it there, all crinkled up and everything. And I have an unwashed plate in the sink, just because I can. And I’m on the Internet early, just because I can. I can use the washing machine whenever I like, the bathroom whenever I fancy, I can watch TV without having to listen to her inane telephone conversations about her hair/clothes/boys/whatever. Anyway, so as you can probably tell I’m very excited. Mum is coming over on Saturday and might stay a few days if she wants to. We’re going to see a play at the Wharf Theatre on Saturday night because it’s starring an old friend of mine I haven’t seen for years … actually he was the catalyst for my meeting Paul. I can’t wait to see him.
Next Thursday is our work Xmas party - it’s a Brasilian Salsa kind of theme I think. It should be OK. Then next Saturday is the Robbie Williams and Duran Duran concert. Can’t wait to see John Taylor, he’s been waiting for me so long!
Sooo as you can see, there’s a bit going on at the moment.
And in between all of that I’m reading my Lonely Planet guide to the USA at the moment. That place is going to be a bit shock to me I think. I remember what it was like when I first arrived in London and being surrounded by nothing but English accents. I could barely make out that they were speaking English half the time, let alone understand them. With America it will be different. Occasionally through the course of my work I have to attend conference calls with Americans back in MCI’s Mother Country - they’re SO loud! So pushy with the way they speak. I think most of them are based in Tulsa or Virginia… I don’t know where Tulsa is but I guess Virginia is up on the East Coast near New York and Washington DC. So yes, I think America will be quite a culture shock which is odd since in so many ways Australia is similar to America.
This morning on my way to work, hustling my way through Central station to try to make it to my destination on time, I was approached by a guy handing out pamphlets and wearing a bright blue t-shirt with bold lettering announcing “Jews For Jesus”. I mean What the Hell??
I didn’t take the pamphlet but now I’m wishing I had because I’m curious.
Oh and no, I haven’t heard anything back from my Dad yet. I re-read the e-mail I sent him and I don’t think I said anything hurtful but perhaps he would feel overwhelmed or not too willing to scratch the surface.
This blog is a place for me to be myself and speak as honestly as I feel I want to. As such, I am going to post the e-mail I sent him - though I will not be posting his reply if ever there is one forthcoming.
“Bonsoir Papa (PIERRE??)
Peut-etre un peu des betises… in the way that sometimes I can really bore myself with my own dramatics. Perhaps it’s the French genes? But this is me, who I am and how I am and perhaps how I always have been? I don’t know. I don’t really recall myself as a child so I really don’t know what perception you have of me or how I fit into that perception now.
Seven years ago yes my spirit was tormented. I was restless, I was in love - unrequited love perhaps or perhaps just the unhealthy selfish/selfless kind, and my father was back in my life and I had a lifetime to reconcile. It was one of the most creative phases in my life to date and I have no regrets. They say timing is everything and I believe that, so regrets don’t really count for much do they. It’s not so much regrets that I have, Papa. It’s things that I saw and took on and was too young to process - how was I to know what the hell to do with all that stuff… all that pain, the sadness, the guilt, the feelings of unworthiness and struggling for a little patch of sunlight. The only way I’m interested in the past now is to liberate myself from some of those things, and believe it or not I’ve really come a long way. It’s just that some of those things still effect the way I react to certain circumstances and situations now. And I owe it to myself to work through it and let it all go.
You’re right, I am very critical of myself and you’re not the first to point it out. I’m harder on myself than I could ever be on anyone else and really that’s saying something. I believe there are many contributing factors to this, the best part of which is probably just my character. I would like to be able to explain to you bit by bit.
I struggle in my relationship with you because I never felt good enough for you. And you might say that’s a ridiculous notion, and I’m absolutely certain that you’d be right, but that is something I’ve carried around since I was a little girl and I would love to banish the ridiculous notion forever. Do you know the main thing that I remember from seeing you 7 years ago is the fact that you thought I was fat. That you kept saying it to me. And I was so nervous to meet you this time because I’m so much more than I was back then (I’m not talking ‘physically’) and have come so far and I was so afraid you would reduce me to insignificance again when all I really wanted was my Dad. Perhaps I’m being too frank now, I don’t know. It just feels to me like these things need to be said for my own sake. And here my ex is telling me ‘your honesty is what makes you, Tash. Why wouldn’t your father deserve that.’
And so I have to believe that it’s ok for me to be saying these things to you because I really want to make it all alright and I feel the timing is right now more than ever and I’m so happy to have you back in my life. 7 years ago I felt as though I couldn’t tell you what I really felt and thought and so out of frustration I stopped writing. It was easier for me to stop writing than to maintain a superficial relationship with someone who meant so much to me. 7 years later I don’t want to make the same mistake.
Now I’ll end this missive here for tonight and hope I’ve not overwhelmed you.
Je t’aime Papa.
xx
Natasha”
xxx
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December 4th, 2003
